for the longest time i was hesitant. cautious. scared.
i was what people like to call a catastrophizer- always thinking of the worst possible outcome.
but that kaley has died.
and a new kaley has been born.
i decided at the beginning of the summer that i would not say no to new opportunities. i would not say no to new adventures. i would not say no because i was scared.
all of my insecurities stopped me from having fun. they stopped me from experiencing new things. they stopped me from living life.
some of my new adventures have set me back in my progress, but i don’t regret them, at all. because i learned lessons. i grew stronger. i became a better person.
this summer has really been one i will remember for the rest of my life. the summer where i decided to have fun and live life. the summer i decided to not let stupid things get in my way. the summer i drove from las vegas to laguna beach in a convertible with the top down. i got sunburned, but it was worth it. the summer that i went to the beach and wore a swim suit even though i don’t look like a victoria’s secret model. the summer where i talked to random strangers about what they like and enjoy. the summer i took my little sister and her friend around provo and treated them like my friends. the summer that i went places by myself- because i wasn’t scared to be alone. the summer that i talked to old friends from previous stages of life instead of running away from them. the summer i went to the lake with two of my best friends and drove a boat. the summer i went to the most random japanese restaurant and got curry and dumplings. the summer i sat on a roof in sugarhouse and enjoyed the wind blowing in my hair. the summer i booked a last minute flight and went to lake powell. the summer i jumped off a houseboat, wakeboarded, and tubed in some of the roughest water i’ve ever seen. the summer i slept on the roof of a houseboat under the stars. the summer i walked in the rain in my church clothes and didn’t complain. the summer i tried a dip with cream cheese in it and actually liked it.
i still have a month left before i start the biggest adventure of my life. and i don’t plan to slow down even when that starts. it’s always good to be responsible and have a little bit of caution, but i am no longer letting my insecurities get in my way. i am not going to say no because of the fear of not being good at it or it being scary. that stage in my life is over.
bring on the adventures.
and for lack of a better phrase, YOLO.